Cops and Robbers
by badboyblues
Summary: " What do you want to be when you grow up Blaine? " " Not gunna. " " Excuse me? " " Not gunna grow up. I'm going to be one of those bandit people you see on TV and in books. You'll help me out right?" AU!Klaine. Kurts only a boy when he goes into the woods, when he comes out he is a boy no longer.
1. Into The Woods

_Loser!_

_Get out of here!_

_No one likes you!_

_Are you spying on us, fag?_

_Lookin' at my junk, are ya?_

_You need to learn a lesson!_

_Get him!_

Even though the attack had been hours, if not longer, ago they still stung like they'd been branded on his usually tough skin. One or two slurs a day he could deal with. . . but not this. Slushie mush streamed uncomfortably down his white shirt, soaking him to the bone in the process. The colourful rainbow stains stung at his eyes, mixing with the mush as it pooled at his feet which were curled into a fetal position. Trying to keep body warmth, he clung tighter onto his own flesh until his knuckles turned white and the ground was pooled with dusky light from the late afternoon. They'd be shutting the gates soon. And not a single freaking teacher had decided it was worth to help him? To find him? Even just for registration?

What a -a Hom. . . Homop. . . urgh, he couldn't pronounce it. But they didn't like him. His dad had warned him – ordered, really – not to wear his expensive clothes to school. He'd thought that his dad just didn't like the clothes either. That, or he didn't want him to get sand from the playpen on them. But perhaps his dad knew something he didn't. He didn't want to find out what it was though.

_ Stupid!_

_Get out of the way!_

_Are you fucking kiddin' me?_

_This fag's just a fucking prick!_

_Get that stick out yo ass!_

Sniffling as the insults tumbled back like a wave, Kurt tipped his head back onto the wall behind him. He'd done it so he could breath easier, but he also found out he could see the beginning of nights blanket starting to settle in. He wished he was at home. He wished his mom and dad would wrap him up and keep him warm. He wished he was worth something, that he was treated normally like the rest of the kids. He wished, he wished, he wished. . .

He wished till the blanket was pulled right over his head and moonlight covered the ground with it's eerie light. He wished till his eyes shut down and he was swept into a cold welcoming sleep.

Xx

_Uh oh. This is bad._ Kurt awoke with a start, his limbs jolting slightly and his throat dry and parched. What had woken him again? Ah yes. That clicking noise. Stiff limbs powered him to his feet and he crawled to his knees. Nervously, he peered round the brick wall corner and – yes. They'd shut the gates. Headache already forming, he pressed back against the wall and rubbed his moist nose. God, they'd shut the school! Did he fall asleep or something? What could he do now?

Well – he began to run through his options – he could call, no no, those idiots had taken his phone. Wait until tommorow? No, it was the weekend. A six week holiday even – another bang of his head against the wall with a grunt of frustration.

Suddenly a whirring noise behind him noted the passing of a train and Kurt turned his head to watch the shiny lights pass him by. He watched as the train sped past in the distance trough the forest trees, which looked strangely comforting with their gnarled and twisted branches reaching up to brush the dark sky. They looked. . . dare he say it, warm. Kurt could already feel his fingers numbing up, and he knew he needed to be inside or as good as that soon. Rising from his curled up position, he stretched experimently and winced. Yup, still sore. Good to know.

Despite being quite slim, the wire that stretched up above his head looked far to unstable to hoist him up. Perhaps. . . ah yes! Kurt's tired eyes managed to find an opening near the side of the fence, connected corner of the schools playground. Prying away a few looser pieces of metal and bending them back, Kurt drew in a deep breath to make himself slimmer and shimmied through the gap.

Gasping on the other side, it had taken longer than he'd expected, Kurt checked himself in the faint light from above. Cuts laced his hands and he could feel the wind nip as a few on his exposed neck and cheeks. Shuddering, he moved in closer to the woods, his aim to find a rabbit hole or something to curl up in. Or perhaps one of those big trees. Hopefully he wouldn't find the scary one like in Pochahun – all thoughts suddenly stopped and the small pale cut boy fell to the ground like a doll let loose from it's owners grip.

But soon that doll would be found.

Xx

When Kurt woke up early in the morning, he was more than surprised to feel a dark heavy leather jacket wrapped around him, with a few leaves presenting berries from a near by bush. Eyes wide and limbs suddenly all over the place, Kurt scrambled back against the tree when he heard foot steps approaching him.

_Is it them? Oh my god, is it them? Are they going to hurt me again? Who helped me? What's going on?_

" Oh good!" Called a chiper voice, that_ certainly_ wasn't his own. "You're awake."

Kurt suddenly saw his – attacker? Founder? - step through the bushes and almost laughed but couldn't force it past the dry ache in his throat. It was a boy. A boy with rich dark curls and dark lashes fanning his eyes with a colour he couldn't place. The soft on his cheeks made it obvious that they were the same age, or near it anyway.

Kurt simple stared. What else could he do? This was very surreal to him. First of, to be in the woods at all was incredibly odd. But to be in the woods alone, with bruises all along his arms and purple dye staining his shirt and a stranger offering him his coat and berries? That was surreal.

Seemingly not to notice, or not to care at any rate, the dark haired boy hummed cheerfully and collapsed with his legs crossed in front of Kurt on a tree stump. It shouldn't, but the impish grin and pure adorableness of the curls made Kurt relax slightly. He shouldn't talk to strangers, he knew that his mommy told him so, but the boy didn't seem strange so he didn't count right? If anything, Kurt was a stranger. He was in the woods after all.

"Kurt."

"Excuse me?" Echoed the boy, he stopped his humming to frown at the speaker.

"Kurt." He repeated, straightening up a little and kneeling slightly to loosen the stiffness in his muscles. "That's my name."

"Blaine." Grinned the b – Blaine. Reaching forwards a chubby hand, he waited for Kurt to do the same. When he didn't, a pout appeared on his face and he wiggled his fingers slightly. "It's not going to shake itself y'know."

Then Kurt couldn't help it. He laughed. Only lightly and hoarsely, but it was still a laugh. Something he hadn't even heard for over three months. Smiling, he shook the boys hand with his own and winced when Blaine pulled up his sleeve in a fast motions before making a ' hmmm ' noise.

Drawing back, Kurt looked on in slight fear before realising what Blaine had produced from his pocket. He raised a sculpted eyebrow and snorted lightly. "A dino-plaster? What year are you in?"

"Hey! No dino-bashing!" Blaine huffed, unwrapping the plaster to put it on one of the deeper cuts on Kurts arm. "Anyway, I'm probably in the same year as you. We had the same marking system at our school." He nodded towards the yellow pin that had been trapped to Kurts jacket. Kurt hummed non-comminicatedly as he admired the plaster.

"And," Blaine was grinning, "We both like that plaster."

"What? I-I don't!" Huffed Kurt, pouting slightly. " It was shiny! I was distracted by it's shiny-ness!"

Laugh bellowing through the trees, Blaine pushed to his feet and grinned again. "Aww! It's not that shiny! You like the dinosaur, admit it."

" Do not."

" Do too!"

" Not."

"Too!"

Rolling his eyes in the usual Hummel way, Kurt couldn't help the flicker of a grin that threatened to turn into a smile. "We can keep playing this game, or you can tell me if you have any food." Blaine frowned and pointed down to the berries.

" I got you some food though."

" Edible food, Blaine." Kurt snorted, rolling one of the berries in his fingers. " Pretty sure these are posinous." Looking up, he saw Blaine pouting in thought. After a moment, another grin split across his face, curls bouncing adorably as he did so.

" Oh! Oh! Look in the right pocket of the jacket! I had a Kit-Kat that I was going to share with Cooper before he got so mean and I stole it from him." Blaine stuck his tongue out as he shared the news, as if it were a lemon and he didn't like the sour taste.

" Cooper?" Kurt asked, curious to know who's Kit-Kat he was stealing as he rumbled through the pockets. When he found it, he split the four bars into two each, and handed two to Blaine who took them greedily.

" Yea! He's a big meanine! He keeps stealing everything!" Blaine rolled his eyes to communicate his point. "Like, this morning I woke up and my socks were all gone! His feet don't even fit into my socks!"

Giggling, Kurt bit into his Kit-Kat as he listened to Blaine rant about Cooper. When he seemed out of steam and their chocolate was all gone, Kurt scrunched up the wrapper and put it back into the warm pockets. He watched an ant make it's lazy journey across the floor and sighed. Looking back up, he was greeted with silence. Shock echoed through him and he gulped.

"Blaine?"

"Here!" Called the voice from really close by, and suddenly there the block of curls were hanging upside down from the tree. Holding his heart in fright, Kurt snorted and had to tilt his head sideways to see the boy. His knees were folded over a branch so he was hanging like a monkey, smile suiting the act perfectly.

"Why are you upside down?"

"Standing still makes me crazy, and anyway this is good practise for being a fireman!" Giggled the boy, attempting a sit up but reclining back with an over-exaggerated sigh. It made Kurt think. Was that what Blaines dream was? To be a fireman? He couldn't exactly imagine the boy running into the flames like he'd seen in the class presentation on them.

"What do you want to be when you grow up Blaine?" He questioned, after watching the curly mop attempt and failing yet again at a sit up. He was surprised to hear a laugh quickly followed by a squeal as the branch bowed under the boys weight and he slid sideways onto the ground. Still laughing, he prowled back towards Kurt with a grin before putting his head in his hands to look up at his wide blue eyes.

"Not gunna."

" I'm sorry?"

"I'm not going to grow up." Replied Blaine stubbornly, jutting his chin out defiantly. " But, if I HAD too, I'd be one of those bandit people."

"Bandit?"

"Y'know! Stealing from the rich? Giving to the poor? That kind of thing? Well, that's more like Robin Hood. So I'd be stealing from the rich, to give to the me." Smiling at his words, Blaine licked the crumbs of his fingers. Smiling at his choice of words, Kurt sat for a moment.

"What would it be like? Being a bandit?" He wondered aloud, still looking in the boys general direction. He was surprised to suddenly find the boy so near and was pleased to discover the greeny-hazel of his eyes meeting his own clear blue.

"Freeing." Replied the boy, without a trace of doubt in his voice. " You could get away with anything, do anything and you'd still be home in time for tea. You could steal from people you don't know and not feel bad about it. It'd be like a job, but you get to choose when, where and how."

" It sounds. . ." Kurt tried to sum up a word to insult it. He couldn't find one. Well, not one that a boy his age could say anyway. " Fun." He finally shrugged, looking back through the trees canopy again.

" It would be!" Enthused Blaine, clapping his hands excitedly, scooting back so he could talk and not deafen Kurt. "It would be like Batman and Robin! Only they do good stuff, and bandits probably do bad stuff. But it would be bad stuff for other people, and good stuff for you? So it's sort of half and half. It's really sneaky as well, so we'd be like. . . like ninja's or -"

" ' We? ' " Kurt repeated, a little confused. Being a bandit didn't suit him and the bright lights of New York was were his home was anyway. Not here in Ohio.

"Yea! You'd help me out, right? I mean, if you hadn't been here I'd probably have eaten those berries and be dead by now!" What could it have been, Kurt would wonder later, that could have possessed him to reply as he had, when Blaine had asked him the next question, " Well? What do you say? Be the Batman to my Robin? The Sherlock to my Homes? The Kit to my Kat? The peanut butter to my jelly? My accomplice? My right-hand man? Or left-hand. If you're left handed."

Perhaps it was the kind smile in Blaines eyes and on his face, or maybe the way the curls bounced slightly off his face in excitement. Perhaps it had been the way his whole face lit up when his joke was laughed at and not off. Or. . . perhaps it was because this was the kind of thing that Kurt had always wanted. Someone who understood him, brought out the laughter in him and tried to help him if they could.

Or, y'know, it could have been that ridiculous pout on Blaines face when he didn't answer quick enough.

"Fine. But no quoting song lyrics at me!"

"Yes sire!"


	2. PAVORATTI

_8 years on . . ._

Tapping out a random tune on his guitar, Blaine turned to look out of the window, waiting for inspiration to come to him. Why did they have windows anyway? Why were they even living here? With all their money they could probably some of the most expensive villas in Ohio.

Well, no. Actually perhaps this was better. Hidden. Foreign. It looked abandoned, even the motorbikes were hidden and the blinds were usually down so it looked abandoned. No one goes into the woods, it's just not heard off. Apart from the odd drunk that stumbles in to piss, the woods is left well enough alone. He'd heard it was going to be turned into some big major holiday resort, but they only got to build one house before they realised it was going to be impossible to build any more past the heavily wooded area. So, instead, they'd built a school.

Closing his eyes and adding a few more chords to his aimless strums, Blaine started to hum along. It was nearly dawn and he could hear the soothing tap of a keyboard in the room next to his. The keys suddenly stopped then started again rapidly.

"Crap!" Sounded the voice, making Blaine smirk slightly as the silence was suddenly broken. Hearing footsteps by his doorway, he glanced up lazily to see Kurt rubbing at his hair furiously with dark bags under his eyes. They'd be swapping patrol tonight, that was for sure. Without asking, Kurt flung himself down on the bed next to him and growled, punching at the pillow in frustration. "Anderson, Pavorattis down again." The boy just hummed in acknowledgement. Pavoratti's activity always swooped in the summertime when the teens got bored and riots started. They all needed an out, and Pavoratti was there to help.

Xx

" Um, Blaine? Is it meant to be doing that?" Asked Kurt hesitantly, frowning at the computer, his finger hovering over the mouse pad slightly as he tried to read what the ERROR;/ codes were trying to tell him on the screen. Hopping over the back of the couch, Blaine scanned it once over quickly and wrinkled his nose lightly.

"Nope. Here." Moving Kurts hand with his own slightly, he tapped out a few key words with Kurt nodding occasionally as he explained it. Finally the ERROR:/ screens cleared and they were back at what they did best. Hacking. With it, they'd manage to start a shaky and shady business both on and offline. Propaganda And Violations Against Rioters Ohio Twenty-Two hours Inside information. Or, as Kurt had liked to call it, PAVAROTTI. Blaine had to admit, it had quite a nice ring to it. After some designer or something.

"Thanks." Chuckled Kurt, getting straight back to tapping the keys lightly as first light broke out in the sky behind them. Since Blaine knew that he needed his space to work out the new system, Kurt wondered why exactly he was still sitting there. Without turning his head, he continued to hack out some more coding. "Can I help you?" When there was no reply, Kurt turned his head and had to laugh at Blaines pout and his curls falling into his face.

"Yea! Wheres my reward?" Snorted the teenager, crossing his arms moodily as he turned away from Kurt.

"Not sure you deserve one."

"Hey! That codings difficult!"

"Well, not really. Could have figured it out soon enough."

"Yea?"

"Yea." Kurt tried to evenly level out Blaines glare but eventually gave up once his eyes started to water. Rolling them for effect, he snorted and jerked his thumb towards where the cupboard was.

"Kit-kats. Top shelf." Trying not to smile as Blaine got up with a squeal of delight or how he hummed as he walked over was hard enough as it was. But trying not to laugh when said boy had to stand on his tip-toes to try and reach his favourite treat? That was impossible. And adorable.

"Need some help there Anderson?"

"Piss off Hummel! Wait – no, better yet getcho skinny ass over here and help me get these Kit-Kats!"

"Want to split them again?"

"Hell no! These are all mine!"

xx

"... anderson? Anderson?" Kurt repeated, poking at Blaines side to draw him out of his reverie. When Blaine finally looked up, the slightly concerned look on his face shut down and his usual smirk returned. "Crap. Thought I'd lost you for a moment. You looked like you were trying to shit out a watermelon or something!"

"A . . . what?"

"Just go with it."

Moments passed in pleasant silence. Blaine was about to ask what Kurt wanted, when the boy in question spoke again. "That was you're cue Anderson."

"There a treat at the end of it?"

"Maaaybe." Despite himself, Kurt let his thin lips twitch up in the beginning of a smile. Watching Blaine turn into, basically, a five year old never failed to make his day.

"Doesn't give me much to work with." Offered the curly mob, poking the taller boys thigh with a grin.

"Alright. Yes. There is. Now get to it!"

"Gotcha!"


	3. On The Run

Running. Running. They'd been running for – oh God – ages now. Dry dust filled their lungs as they stumbled and tripped, trying to dodge the persistent police lights and voices behind them. They needed to get away and quickly. They had to run or hide and neither knew which one without speaking. Which with the running was impossible.

How could they have been so damn stupid?

Of course they had inspectors coming round. Of course they had a police inspection now and then to check they were doing their job correctly – which they were, just not the job they were given. But they'd always, always, been careful. With everything. From everything from the HTML code to the nitty-gritty law details. They were jail-breaks under the name PAVORATTI and everything had been running smoothly. Until The Day.

Xx

"Holy sh – _Kurt!_ Come look at this!" It had been the night after PAV went down and Blaine had taken control for the night-shift. He'd re-checked and re-counted all their clients, codes and systems yet nothing seem to have been breached or affected. He'd been keeping a small summary of the price of their clients in a running total, and his breathing hitched at the pure amount of _money_ they had. It felt like pure gold in his hands.

At his call, Kurt peered over his shoulder and almost did a double take at the amount of zeros lining in a row. "That- what is that?" Trying to reach round Blaine, he aimed to grab the piece of paper but it was being held away by Blaine who was staring at it like it was the Mona Lisa come to life. Kurt rolled forwards onto the couch, trying and failing not to kick his legs at Blaine who barely noticed as he stood up.

"Kurt – holy _shit_ – Kurt, we're millionares!"

"What? Let me see!" Growling this time, the sandy haired boy lunged for the paper and rolled forwards before Blaine could even finish his cry of protest. Wrestling it away from the boy he stared down at the paper and felt a lump form in his throat. Looking up with dry eyes and a dry voice, he stared Blaine down. " No."

"What?"

"No fucking-way! You must have counted it up wrong!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Did too, now shut up and let me count." Huffing, Blaine crossed his arms. But nothing could stop the pure look of joy on his face. This was, after all, his dream. All the late nights, the tricky clients, the energy drinks, the fun and all the legal bullshit had been worth it. _They'd_ been worth it. Suddenly overwhelmed, Blaine flung himself forwards and lunged for his jacket and watch. Kurt, still trying to add up the numbers, didn't look up. Instead, he let out a choked off little noise.

"Billionares."

"What?"

"Billion – oh my God – we're Billionares!"

"Blaine-o-aires."

" Oh no, honey, don't even try to make that work. Anyway most of the work done was mine." Wrinkling his nose up in disagreement, Kurt folded his arms and got to his feet, eyes shining slightly. " Back to work?"

" No freaking way!"

"What? But we need to keep PAV runnin - ?"

" We're BILLIONARES, Kurt!"

" I gathered!"

" Then we should get drunk."

" We get drunk every Saturday, Blaine."

"So?"

"It's Sunday."

"And?"

"You're still drunk?" Guessed Kurt in an annoyed tone, though the small smile on his pale face told otherwise when he looked at his adorable friend. Yup, even after all this time Blaine was still adorable in his eyes.

"No. . . but let's get drunk. PAV can take a night off. If not, call one of the Warblers in." Blaine knew Kurt would give in – who could resist the thought of a drink and those puppy eyes?

" You make them sound like you've given them nicknames or something. . .? Oh. No. You didn't did you? If you gave them NICKNAMES Blaine!" Voice raising in warning, Kurt was now pointing a long menacing finger at him. Blaine ducked as if he'd been a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.

" Oh, c'mon! How was I not? You call Jeff Physco!"

"Yea – but – that's – shut up." Grinning at Flustered Kurt, a new side he was pleased to see, Blaine shrugged and made his way to the door.

" So, drink?"


	4. Visitors

So that's how they found themselves chained with a single pair of handcuffs to each other, walking for the first time into the Station. They'd been there before, of course, but always on the business end and never on the receiving. They'd taken the slightly menacing dark blue walls as a sign of professionalism, but not it seemed to be as if it made the room smaller.

Kurt almost had to laugh at this whole situation. They hadn't got caught. Well, not really anyway. Not for what was against one of the most federal laws in the States, but something that was considered nothing. As long as they didn't react to much and stayed low, this should blow over in the breeze. If not, there was always Plan B.

"Now," Started Officer Len, reclining back in the out-of-place dark leather chair in the surprisingly bright white room. Both delinquents squinted as they tried to re-adjust themselves to the sudden harshness of the light. "We can't just let this go right over our heads."

Crap. Time for Plan B then.

"However," He began to elaborate, "This is a very minor crime in the area. It's also your first time here, isn't it?" Len waited as the two nodded. They'd stretched themselves across two chairs, chain straining on their outstretched arms. "So we'll just have to keep a file and keep you on a tight leash." He saw one of them stiffen slightly, though the other seemed fairly relaxed. Calm, almost. Perhaps this hadn't been their first time here. He caught one of them searching the room calmly, seeming not to care for his surrounding whilst the other sat ramrod straight and his hazel eyes burning holes in the paperwork in front of him.

" What do you mean, ' a tight leash? '" This drew the quieter ones attention, as he pulled almost in a warning sign on the hazel-boys chain. Wow. . . it really was there first time here, wasn't it?

"Do you know what this is?" Len asked, pulling out two blocks with some sort of flashing light on it. Hazel-boy shook his head whilst Sandy-hair narrowed his eyes in on them. Still not saying a word. "These are Trackers. They'll be on your ankle for a 48-hour time period. Then, when they beep, you'll be expected back at the station. Understand?" Both nodded, one more stiffly than the other.

"You'll be expected to stay inside the Ohio state. You're not allowed out, not even for family matters. Or pizza." Both frowned at that comment. Len reminded himself that not everyone knew Finn, one of the boys who'd tried to get his friend with a Tracker out of Ohio just for pizza. They'd gotten a high-end police chase, which was certainly more than they'd bargained for. "You have someone to stay. Correct?" Len watched as they shared a glance, and Sandy-hair spoke for the first time.

" We should be fine, Officer."

xx

"When did he say we could take these off?"

"48-hours Blaine. Calm down."

"Where are we going to stay? What are we going to do about PAV? Our bikes? And, fuck, the money?"

"Don't doubt the Ohio third eye," Grinned Kurt, tapping his forehead with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. It evaporated after a moment and he lowered his voice to get to Blaines ear. "We have to be more careful Blaine. We'll discuss plans later, after our time periods are up." Why did that sound so much more like a threat than an invitation for discussion?

" So, where are we going to stay?"

" Well, two options. One – a sleazy motel that uses up some of our well earned dosh," He could see Blaine wrinkle his nose at that and snorted. "Or Two – we take the easy way out and go to Pucks. It'll be awkward but whatever. We need a place to stay, and his is the place that keeps moving. We should be fine. He understands anyway." As Kurt rambled, Blaine searched for his bike until the boy next to him cleared his throat.

" They took Bessy."

" Shit – Pucks going to kill me!"

" Ey-ey! No he won't!"

" No no! You don't understand! He said if I loose his baby he's going to cut me up!"

"Blaine?"

"Yea?"

"Shut up."

"Alright."

xx

"So," Blaine asked again, turning his body to face Kurt with a frown on his face. "Your ingenious plan is to stay with Puck, wild slutty party Puckzilla, Puck until these timers get off us."

"It is an ingenious plan, isn't it?"

"Not laughing here Hummel."

"You are Anderson. Pucks oblivious to anything that goes on in his house. It could burn down in flames and all he'd notice was that it smelt a bit like bacon." Blaine snorted and turned to the doorbell. Pressing it let off a sharp zing of sound before someone yelling from inside could be heard.

"Fine! I'll get it Noah! But you'd better know that if I didn't actually owe you someth – _shit_!" Rachel doubled over in shock at the sight in front of her. No no, the sights in front of her. Was it two? Did it count? Was it a whole package now? Were minor questions in her mind. The major ones were - " Kurt? Why are you here? And why are there police here? And who the hell is this?"

" Easy there." Rachel doubled again at the easy power in Kurts voice that had always been so high and squealy back in Yellow Grade. "One at a time. Actually, could you let us in and stop gawking?"

Rachel straightened herself slightly and tugged at the sleeves of her dress. "And why should I let you in? The Ohio Police are at our doorstep Kurt!"

"You'll let us in," Kurt prowled a step closer so his light eyes burned slightly as he glared down at the smaller girl. It was times like this, he loved being tall. "Because you want to know what the hell happened." Rachel glowered a moment longer before hesitantly dipping her head and wrinkling her nose.

"Fine! You know what? Come on in!" Storming, very much like she had when she was in Glee, back into Pucks living room, Blaine turned to grin at Kurt with wide excited eyes.

" How'd you know how to do that?"

" Do what?" Snorted Kurt in reply. " She hasn't changed since primary school."


End file.
